I Feel Sick 🐶 🐶

So much has happened these past ten days. I was drowning in my own shit. All the external noise (my fears, my mom’s fear which she puts on me, petty family and neighbourhood issues) deafened me. I didn’t neglect myself, but I sure as hell neglected my Princess. Dogs are like toddlers, they need undivided attention and grooming, and due to my carelessness, I neglected her for way too long. Four fucking years I didn’t take her to the vet. Once her vaccinations were done (we don’t vaccinate senior dogs) I assumed she was in good health. Her appetite was good. Yeah, she was lethargic and stopped jumping around much, I attributed it to ‘Old Age’. Now when I look back her appetite was not that good. I gave her the food she liked when in fact I should have given her nutritional food. 

The reason for not taking my Princess to the vet was ………. I don’t know, there is no reason. I can blame it on my habit of procrastinating things (anxiety) or any end number of things, but there is only one reason – I AM A BAD MOTHER ….. PERIOD. 

So what do you do when your furry baby falls grievously sick (and may die) due to your carelessness and neglect?

I did to Princess what my mother did to me, Neglect. Seeing my furry baby suffer like that was killing me. I couldn’t lose her, I know she has to go one day but not like this …… because of me. How could I live with myself knowing that I was the reason my furry baby girl is gone. I failed her. Failed to protect her. 

The above picture was taken on 3rd February 2021, Princess had almost stopped eating the only thing she would eat was cat food.

……. to be continued 

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